The Covid-19 pandemic is an event that is perceived as life-altering and for many, traumatic. I Affirm helps people re-frame how a trauma is experienced and hence we have written a workbook to help during this difficult time. It is a self-help workbook so that you can at least address your personal story and modify new, self-harming belief systems that have resulted from what you are living with. You can download a free preview of the method and if you want the help then you can donate what you can afford. We want anyone who needs help to get it regardless of money. Feel free to reach out to us if you need a free copy for yourself or a friend and we’ll take care of it.
A big area of stress for working families is the juggling of home and work. While economics often drive one’s work life it’s also possible that workaholic behavior drives it instead. If this is true, to reduce stress it makes sense to change that belief system. The same goes for “feeling” irritated when driving during heavy traffic. Why do you feel that way? Change the why and enjoy the travel you must do and bring along audio tapes or practice a new language while driving. Changing behavior without changing the reason why is almost impossible without setting oneself up for either failure or dissonance, resulting in more stress. <strong>Discovering and changing the reason why</strong> <span style=”font-size: inherit;”>is what Personal Story Modification is all about.
How you were raised probably has the most impact on the way you view the world; how you function in it, or not. It is best to take personal inventory of the belief systems you adhere to from your family of origin and work your way thru them to change those that block you, many you will not consciously know. A good example is if your parent didn’t affirm your being, it will be difficult in adulthood to allow yourself to be affirmed. If you felt neglected, you’re probably now neglect yourself. Parental modeling has a huge impact on each of us before we even have memory of our childhood. <strong>Discovering and changing the reason why</strong> is what Personal Story Modification is all about.
A good example of social stress can be seen with the current political division occurring across the country. While each person may feel that their reason for feeling the way they do is 100% legitimate, a key pillar of this self-assessment and changing of belief systems is that hate or dislike about someone else, is truly a reflection of one’s own beliefs that need to be changed. Once changed the strong emotional feeling that causes stress will dissipate. You can also become part of the solution instead of taking a side that spurs further division. Using negative emotions to <strong>identify and change self-harming beliefs</strong> is what Personal Story Modification is all about.
Another pillar of Personal Story Modification is that if you can inherit disease from your parents, you can also inherit limited beliefs. It may seem that these are out of your control but you can discover and change the reason why you believe them. A good example is being the child of parents born in a country that does not allow free speech. Children of these parents could inherit the belief that, “I must keep quiet.” As long as you remain quiet you are compliant to your programming. Violate it and you will experience a negative feeling such as ashamed, embarrassed, or even fearful, depending upon what your parent felt if they were to speak up. What this all means is we are very sophisticated computing systems that run 90% on programming, much programmed before we are even conscious of, around 5 years old. <strong> Self-assessment and reprogramming negative belief systems</strong> is what Personal Story Modification is all about.
While many of us will fulfill our own self-fulling prophecies behaviorally (from our “programmed” belief systems, we do create new beliefs about ourselves as we navigate thru life. Humans are built and programmed to survive so whatever messaging is required to do that, the body will record and execute. It takes an event of significant impact (emotional) to register. Trauma imprints new behavior without a doubt but short of that, other events create new beliefs as well. An example would be trying something brand new and failing whether it’s water skiing or having your partner leave you. These events impact us and can lead to self-doubt or fear of trying anything new again. <strong>Assessing and changing self-limiting behaviors</strong> is what Personal Story Modification is all about.
Anyone that has experienced trauma can relate to how he/she has changed as a result of it whether surviving a fire, a mass shooting event or rape. You know you are guarded. You can feel your automatic response when triggered. And many things can trigger you. An example of a fire and how it will affect a victim for years includes every possible association with it. This means any smell of smoke you will look for it. You will sometimes even imagine the smell of smoke and go look. When you see a design on a wall or door, a shadow, you will think you see smoke, all of this happening while your heart is pounding. If the fire experienced was from a wildfire during a wind event then you will always fear fire when it’s windy. A chimney fire, you will never be able to use a fireplace again. Why does this happen? Because the pain, trauma and loss from a fire is so devastating that your programming says, this cannot happen again and will do everything possible to warn you away from anything that is related to it. We can be emotionally destroyed and that, to the body/mind is something to protect against. Rape victims – this is why it takes so long to heal from it – especially if you’ve never told anyone. You were so emotionally destroyed, powerless, that from that day forward your body/mind will do everything possible to make you avoid it ever again.By <strong>identifying and changing these new beliefs</strong> created as a result of trauma, albeit difficult, can be changed and free you from remaining a hostage to it. This is what Personal Story Modification is all about.